As a psych major, I’ve always been interested in how our brains work. As a mom this interest has become focused on, for lack of a better description, best common practices. How can we best help our kids to grow up as secure, compassionate, effective, happy, and successful adults? How will the experiences and thoughts of our young children shape them into the types of adults they will be when they are 20? 30? 60? How much has already been pre-determined by genetics and how much can we realistically influence?
Over the weekend I started reading a fascinating book that appears to offer a relative straightforward answer to the above questions. The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg was just published on February 28, 2012 and encompasses the latest research on habit formation. The bestselling book is fascinating and is getting a great deal of positive press.
According to Mr. Duhigg, scientists have been able to show that once a habit is formed, we work on autopilot conserving our energy and brain cells for more involved pursuits. They have also shown that habits never disappear. They can be covered over by new habits but the old habits remain in our brains, ready to spring into action when triggered by just the right cue. While Mr. Duhigg focuses more on the habits of individuals, organizations and societies, I find the potential for parents far more compelling.
The habit formation loop is simple: Cue -> Routine -> Reward. While it can be difficult to change our own poor habits as adults (although if you are interested, Mr. Duhigg’s site has a How to Change a Habit flowchart) creating good habits for our kids might be easier. We manipulate their worlds already. We are in charge of many of their rewards. A little bit of planning, dedication, and finesse on our parts and we can equip our kids with a solid set of ingrained actions and thought processes that will help them live happy and fulfilling lives.
The importance of actively helping our kids create positive habits is brought home by another recently published book that is in the news, The End of Illness by David B. Agus, MD. Dr. Agus, a leading oncologist, is calling for a complete change in the way we approach health. One of the items he lays out as critical to optimal, long-term health is daily routine.
If we accept that part of our parenting duties is to help our kids create habits and daily routines that will serve them well as adults, our jobs just got both more complicated and much, much more interesting. Check back to follow our progress as I go through the book and work with the kids to create powerful new habits.